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Two decades ago, while raising a child in a small town, my husband and I became close to two other families with children the same age as ours. We socialized frequently, both on and off the playground. Then it came to light that, for more than a year, one of the husbands had been having an affair with the wife of the other, and our chummy sextuplet was torn asunder.

Initially, both couples managed to stay together, but the deceived wife made it clear to my husband and me — as well as the many other families who heard about the trespass through the grapevine — that we would have to choose with whom to stay friends. I picked the cheating wife. (She was far more fun to hang with.) Over a drunken evening, she confided in me that the reason the husband initiated the affair in the first place was that his wife hated sex.

We ended up moving away, but eventually I wrote a novel that drew on the episode. To promote it, I published an essay in a small writerly newsletter about what inspired the plot (disguising the names of those involved).

Unfortunately, someone who still lives in the town read the essay and passed it around to friends of friends, until it made its way to my old friend — the wife who cheated. She immediately emailed me and demanded I delete the essay from all social media. She also said she would no longer consider me a friend if I didn’t make the newsletter remove it from its website.

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We’re not close, but I like this woman. I consider her a distant friend; we speak once a year or so. I pointed out that the affair happened long ago and that she needs to move on. She feels that I have gravely wronged her; that my piece brought her ‘‘integrity’’ into question by divulging what she shared about the other woman during our drunken outing.

I deleted the newsletter post from Instagram and promised that I would not share the piece anywhere. Before that happened, though, I was getting a lot of feedback from strangers telling me how inspired they were by the story. It was, for a short time, boosting my pre-order sales.

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